Alcohol and my Mental State

There are many things going on today and for the remainder of the week that have me going strong.  I have some exciting news about the blog and the direction in which it is headed.  I’ve created some methods for marketing my posts to new readers.  I’m working to create a content-filled article here for everyone to enjoy, and at the same time convey my message as specifically as possible in a concise manner.

First of all, I retweeted an article earlier today that I came across on Twitter.  If you are not currently following me on Twitter, be sure to check me out @hydramania.  My account is primarily for the advertisement of this blog so as to keep constant public relationship.  I read this particular article and it struck a chord with me.  In case my loving audience didn’t know, I’m a recovering alcoholic.  That story itself is for another time.  I found this article interesting because it discusses, however briefly, the effects of alcohol and it’s common “cures.”  Basically what is happening is justification of alcohol use with an excuse of inner-pain/hurt or something of the sort.  What the article is attempting to convey is that this does not in fact help mask pain or anxieties.  It may seem to help at first but eventually it can actually accelerate the original poor mood.  As I sat back in my chair and reflected on that theory, I realized that it is very much true.  Of course drinking took my mind off of situations that were boiling my brain.  The thing I wasn’t understanding was that it only took those effects away while I were still in the real world.  After inebriation I went right back to the root of the problem and proceeded to dwell on it.  This created MORE issues by removing all inhibitions and causing fights, a loose tongue, and creating more deep cutting thoughts.

I drank a lot while I was growing up.  It’s hard for me to blame it on any one thing.  We had small town boredom, family issues, peer pressure and your usual sorrow drowning as primary roots.  I don’t recall being particularly mean when I was younger, but I know it has become an issue toward my latter years.  Many times have I seen the inside of an inpatient rehab facility, correctional facility, or a combination of the two.  These were bound to point me in the right direction, right?  I would have to say “no.”  What eventually happened was I had realized my behavior patterns and attempted to get a diagnosis.  The root of my problem was not the drinking.  The drinking only enhanced the problem to create an entirely different person.  I started taking psych medication after my alcohol detox that week.  I have to tell you that it made a huge difference.  My family was coming back together, my mood was generally better and I had a little life control.  Since this time, I have relapsed 3 times.  One of those became a 6 month binge.  Sitting here with my new ventilation avenue, writing to others who may be able to relate, I’m excited to continue to work on myself at the core level and abstain from alcohol.  As I continue my sobriety, I have more opportunities to assess my innermost issues and work with other professionals in treating these nuisances on a daily basis.  I have found possibilities and I have shrugged off others.  The point is: I can become a larger part of my own sanity by remaining in a more attentive state as a sober individual.  I am not shunning alcohol or blaming it for any of my problems.  I am simply stating that for me to be able to find the deep roots of my demons and to fight them effectively, I must remain as level headed as I can.  I feel that the mixture of mental health disorders and inebriating substances, though often taken together as a coping mechanism, is actually very detrimental toward long-term healing.  Thank you for listening.  I feel better just for today.  Please feel free to comment strength, support and wisdom.

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