Memories…seiromeM

I have trouble with my memory.  A lot of times you see individuals with my kind of issues to have suppressed memories that block out much of their lives.  I’m not sure of any suppressed memories.  I’m not sure of any memories at all.  I only remember extremely potent events.  Standalone historical events that I was a part of.  Aside from that, I know nothing.  It’s not even just my long-term memory.  I forget things as they are being told to me.  I had the garbage bag in my hands this morning and still forgot to take it to the dumpster before leaving for work.  Yes, this could be the product of suppressed memories blocking images of my hippocampus.  Sure.  It could be anything.  I happen to believe that my memory failure is a direct result of anxiety.  With constant thought and worry in my head, trivial tasks throughout the day become…trivial to my mind.

I’ve been on multiple medications in the past few months and nothing seems to be working.  I make honest attempts at leading a worry-free life.  I try so hard to keep my mind at bay.  If I could just focus on one thing at a time, this might not be so traumatic.  Everything happens at once in there.  It’s overwhelming and depressing.  If I could tackle my obstacles one at a time, I feel that progression would ensue.  Instead, I am forced to pick the big tasks and complete them to minimize weight on my mind.  My memory is extremely perpendicular to my line of thought.  While it is on its tangent, I don’t retain new information.

As of writing this post, I came across an article that explains my issues perfectly.  I think my next step is to focus on adapting to this and making the best of what I’ve got thus far.  The article can be found here.  It’s very informative if you relate to the memory issues that I suffer from.  It seems to be considered a form of dissociative amnesia.  This definitely fits the bill for what I go through on a daily basis.  I hope to be able to find a way to cope with this and possibly tackle it over time.  Please comment below if you have something to say.  It’s a great medium for communication.

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